Fw: Glorious Insults

    Glorious insults are from an era before the English language became boiled down to 4-letter words.

    A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

    "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow.

    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." -Moses Hadas.

    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain.

    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde.

    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop.

    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright.

    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb.

    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson.

    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating.

    "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand.

    "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker.

    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -  Mark Twain.

    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.." - Mae West.

    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde.

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