Fwd: : The Gay Cowboy


 The Gay Cowboy

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.


Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.


She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.


He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.


For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.


Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."


The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night.


He returned around 2:30 am, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.


She quietly called him over to her.


"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.


"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.


"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.


"Now take off my skirt."


He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight.


"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.


Then she looked at him and said: "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"

Fwd: : Amish Elevator

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny,  silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old  lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a  button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a  small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....

'Go get your Mother'





Fwd: : What is Celibacy?

Description: cid:X.MA1.1343577429@aol.com
What is Celibacy?
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Dorcus listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He then addressed the men.
"Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Frank leaned over, touched Dorcus's arm gently, and whispered,
"Gold Medal-All-Purpose, Isn't it?"
And thus began Frank's life of celibacy.
Description: ATT0003422.jpg

Fwd: Golf Course

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." 
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer." 

Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?" 

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it? So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.' 

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?" 
"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."


Toos at the club video

When the music drops...More at --> ADDIKTION

Posted by ADDIKTION on Monday, April 20, 2015


Fw: This is the most important blog post I've ever written

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This is the most important blog post I've ever written. It's about what happened exactly one year ago today. Please read it and share it with others.

Last week a friend told me about a recent fender bender. While driving, he'd been dictating an email on his cell phone. He wanted to get a few extra things done before he got to the office.

We all do things like that. Multitasking is a way of life. It's our strategy to keep up with our whirlwind of a job. In the car, we'll make calls, catch up on messages and text people when we're running late.

That's exactly what Carla Brennan was doing on the morning of March 4, 2013 – the day her life collided with mine (and others). Literally.

Here's what happened. My husband, Fred, left our house about 9 AM. Fifteen minutes later he called. His voice was weak, shaken. "I've been in an accident. I think people were hurt -- badly." After assuring me he was okay, he told me where he was.

I rushed to the scene, a half mile from my home. It was cordoned off. A helicopter was there. Ambulances, police and fire fighters were everywhere. Someone escorted me to my husband, very carefully maneuvering me around the accident scene to get to his car about a block up the road.

When I got there, he was still in the Suburu, behind the wheel, bloody and covered with glass. "I think I hit some pedestrians," he said in a daze. "Do you know what happened to them?"

I didn't, but it was clear he needed medical attention.The EMTs took over and I followed them to the emergency ward. I was grateful he was alive.

So what actually did happen that morning?

When Fred turned onto the main street by our place, he noticed a man and woman out for a walk. To avoid crowding them, he moved into the inside lane. Not another car was in sight. Moments later, he glanced in the rear view mirror and saw a car bearing down on him at an incredible speed.

Instantly it slammed into him, propelling his car like an out-of-control projectile in the direction of the two pedestrians. As he desperately tried to avoid them, he saw the man push his wife out of the way in an attempt to save her life. After hitting them, his car careened into the bridge barriers, ricocheted back onto the road and finally came to a stop half a block away.

In the blink of an eye, everything changed.

Ms. Brennan, the driver of the car that hit my husband, was late for work that morning. She was speeding. And then she got a text from her boss. "Where are you?" it said. She replied … and before she finished she ran into my husband's car.

The truth is, she never even saw him. She was too wrapped up in her message, trying to text her boss that she was on the way. It was a deadly mistake.

Distracted driving killed Dave Henson.

He was 57 years old, a marathoner, biker, golfer, loving husband, father of 3, grandfather of 12 and all-round good guy. His wife, Leslee was severely injured and transported via helicopter to a major trauma center.

Flash forward a year. 

Since the accident, Leslee has made a miraculous recovery, despite having over 5000 stitches, a broken neck, a broken back and multiple other injuries. She misses her husband terribly, as do her children and grandchildren. Such a tragedy. (Check out her video below.)

My husband still struggles with what happened. Even though intellectually he knows that it wasn't his fault, he still feels a sense of responsibility.

Ms. Brennan has been charged with 2nd degree criminal vehicular homicide involving a handheld wireless communication device while driving. Her trial is coming up soon. She will likely spend time in jail. And, she'll have to live with the fact that her actions killed a good man.

The eye-opening facts on distracted driving.

The truth is more than 80% of drivers admit to blatantly hazardous behavior while driving. I used to be one of them. The accident changed me. So did these eye-opening statistics*.

  • Distracted driving is a factor in 1 out of 4 crashes nationally.
  • Texting while driving makes you 23 times more likely to be in a car crash.
  • When drivers read/send text messages, their reaction time is doubled.
  • 4.6 seconds is the average time your eyes are off the road when texting. If you're going 55 mph, you will travel the length of a football field during that time.
  • Drivers on cell phones are more impaired than drivers with a .08 blood alcohol level (legally drunk).
  • Using a cell phone while driving makes you 4x more likely to get into a crash serious enough to injure yourself.

Don't be driven to distraction.

Clearly this is a problem of epidemic proportions. While we sometimes get caught up in the urgency of our work, the truth is ... it can wait. Seriously. It's not a good sales strategy. In fact, it's a killer.

Please, please, don't text while driving. Pull over to take any calls. And, if you're the passenger in the car, make sure the driver follows these rules too.

Doing so could save your life. And, it could save the lives of your friends, family, children, colleagues and total strangers. That's what matters.


A Texting Tragedy: To learn more, check out this video with Leslee and my husband. And, please share it with anyone who you think needs to see it.

Join the Henson family's Stop the Texts, Stop the Wrecks initiative. Take the pledge and don't drive distracted.

*Statistics from Distraction.gov, USA Today and other sources.


Jill Konrath | 651-429-1922
Speaker | Sales Strategist | Author

Agile Selling, SNAP Selling & Selling to Big Companies

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