Fw: : FIVE HORSES

This is too beautiful not to share!

Five Horses Is Her Name

This is mythical and deep.  Truly beautiful...



A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.

He replied, "She is called Five Horses".



The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.

What does it mean?"



The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian name.  It mean...



NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"
 

Fw: Never Believe an Irishman

Never Believe an Irishman   An Irishman was drinking in a bar in  London when he gets a call on his cell phone.   He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical   Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.   Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs,   "That's about average up our way, folks... like I said … my boy's a typical County Clare baby boy."   Two weeks later the man returns to the bar.   The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that typical Irish baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you?   Everybody's been making' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks .... so how much does he weigh now?"   The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."   The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened?" "He was 25 pounds the day he was born."   The father takes a slow swig of his Jameson Irish Whisky, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,   "Had him circumcised."

 
 
 

 
 

Fw: God Bless the Lady Plumber

Remember her!      Irena Sendler Died: May 12, 2008 (aged 98) Warsaw ,  Poland During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the  Warsaw ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist.  She had an ulterior motive. Irena smuggled Jewish infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried.  She also carried a burlap sack in the back of her truck, for larger kids. Irena kept a dog in the back that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto.  The soldiers, of course, wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking covered the kids/infants noises. During her time of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500 kids/infants. Ultimately, she was caught, however, and the Nazi's broke both of her legs and arms and beat her severely. Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she had smuggled out, in a glass jar that she buried under a tree in her back yard.  After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived and tried to reunite the family. Most had been gassed.  Those kids she helped got placed into foster family homes or adopted. In 2007 Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize. She was not selected.  Al Gore won, for a slide show on Global Warming. Later another politician, Barack Obama, won for his work as a community organizer for ACORN. In MEMORIAM - 65 YEARS LATER I'm doing my small part by forwarding this message.  I hope you'll consider doing the same.  It is now more than 65 years since the Second World War in  Europe ended. This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain.  In memory of the six million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and humiliated!  Now, more than ever, with  Iran , and others, claiming the HOLOCAUST to be 'a myth', it's imperative to make sure the world never forgets, because there are others who would like to do it again. This e-mail is intended to reach 40 million people worldwide! Join us and be a link in the memorial chain and help us distribute it around the world.   Please send this e-mail to people you know and ask them to continue the memorial chain. Please don't just delete it.. It will only take you a minute to pass this along.

Fw: Glorious Insults

Glorious insults are from an era before the English language became boiled down to 4-letter words.


A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."


"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr


"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

 
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow.


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).


"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." -Moses Hadas.


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain.


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde.


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop.


"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright.


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb.


"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson.


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating.


"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand.


"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker.


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -  Mark Twain.


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.." - Mae West.


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde.

Fw: Yes, this is us!

YES, THIS IS US !!   YES, THIS IS US!!! Senior citizens are constantly being  criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others. HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took The melody out of music, The pride out of appearance, The courtesy out of driving, The romance out of love, The commitment out of marriage, The responsibility out of parenthood, The togetherness out of the family, The learning out of education,   The service out of patriotism, The Golden Rule from rulers, The nativity scene out of cities, The civility out of behavior, The refinement out of language, The dedication out of employment, The prudence out of spending, The ambition out of achievement or God out of government and school. And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!! And, we do understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country.  Just look at the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention with their hand over their hearts! YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN! I'm the life of the party..... Even if it lasts until 8 p.m. I'm very good at opening childproof caps..... With a hammer. I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up. I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying. I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere. I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg. I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps. Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life! Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't send it back to them.   Spread the laughter Share the cheer Let's be happy While we're here.     Go Green - Recycle the Senate!!

FW: Why parents drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything   was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I   had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid   a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.  

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad.......she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children...  

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.  

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.  

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

 

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.   I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card that's in my center desk drawer.  I love you.   Call me when it's safe to come home.

Fw: The "Back Nine" of Life

AND  THEN IT IS WHEN

You know.  . . time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware  of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was  young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate.  Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all  the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses  of how it was back then and of all my hopes and  dreams.

But, here  it is... the "back nine" of my life and it catches me by  surprise...How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go  and where did my youth go? I remember well seeing older people  through the years and thinking that those older people were  years away from me and that "I was only on the first hole" and  the "back nine" was so far off that I could not fathom it or  imagine fully what it would be  like.

But, here  it is...my friends are retired and getting grey...they move  slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and  some worse shape than me...but, I see the great change...Not  like the ones that I remember who were young and  vibrant...but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we  are now those older folks that we used to see and never  thought we'd become. Each day now, I find that just getting a  shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a  treat anymore... it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own  free will... I just fall asleep where I  sit

And  so...now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared  for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and  ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never  did!! But, at least I know, that though I'm on the "back  nine", and I'm not sure how long it will last...this I know,  that when it's over on this earth...it's over. A new adventure  will begin!

Yes, I  have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done...things I  should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy  to have done. It's all in a  lifetime.

So, if  you're not on the "back nine" yet...let me remind you, that it  will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would  like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't  put things off too long!! Life goes by quickly. So, do what  you can today, as you can never be sure whether you're on the  "back nine" or not! You have no promise that you will see all  the seasons of your life...so, live for today and say all the  things that you want your loved ones to remember...and hope  that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you  have done for them in all the years  past!!

"Life" is  a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to  those who come after. Make it a fantastic  one.

LIVE IT  WELL!


ENJOY  TODAY!


DO  SOMETHING  FUN!


BE HAPPY  !


HAVE A  GREAT DAY


Remember  "It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and  silver.


LIVE HAPPY  IN 2013!


LASTLY,  CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:

~Your kids  are becoming you......but your grandchildren are  perfect!
~Going out  is good.. Coming home is better!
~You  forget names.... But it's OK because other people forgot they  even knew you!!!
~You  realize you're never going to be really good at anything....  especially golf.
~The  things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but  you really do care that you don't care to do them  anymore.
~You sleep  better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's  called "pre-sleep".
~You miss  the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF"  switch..
~You tend  to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"..."  ???
~Now that  you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it  anywhere.
~You  notice everything they sell in stores is  "sleeveless"?!!!
~What used  to be freckles are now liver spots.
~Everybody  whispers.
~You have  3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will  never wear.
~~~But Old  is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of  all, OLD FRIENDS!!
Stay well,  "OLD FRIEND!" It's Not  What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of  Life You Have Lived.

Fw: Old Car Trivia ~ Very interesting

Old Car Trivia     Q: What was the first official White House car? A: A 1909 White Steamer, ordered by President Taft. Q: Who opened the first drive-in gas station? A: Gulf opened up the first station in Pittsburgh in 1913. Q: What city was the first to use parking meters? A: Oklahoma City, on July 16, 1935. Q: Where was the first drive-in restaurant? A: Royce Hailey's Pig Stand opened in Dallas in 1921. Q: True or False? The 1953 Corvette came in white, red and black. A: False. The 1953 'Vetted' were available in one color, Polo White. Q: What was Ford's answer to the Chevy Corvette, and other legal street racers of the 1960's? A: Carroll Shelby's Mustang GT350. Q: What was the first car fitted with an alternator, rather than a direct current dynamo? A: The 1960 Plymouth Valiant Q: What was the first car fitted with a replaceable cartridge oil filter? A: The 1924 Chrysler. Q: What was the first car to be offered with a "perpetual guarantee"?   A: The 1904 Acme, from Reading, PA. Perpetuity was disturbing in this case, as Acme closed down in 1911. Q: What American luxury automaker began by making cages for birds and squirrels? A: The George N. Pierce Co. of Buffalo, who made the Pierce Arrow, also made iceboxes. Q: What car first referred to itself as a convertible? A: The 1904 Thomas Flyer, which had a removable hard top. Q: What car was the first to have it's radio antenna embedded in the windshield? A: The 1969 Pontiac Grand Prix. Q: What car used the first successful series-production hydraulic valve lifters? A: The 1930 Cadillac 452, the first production V16 Q: Where was the World's first three-color traffic lights installed? A: Detroit, Michigan in 1919. Two years later they experimented with synchronized lights. Q: What type of car had the distinction of being GM's 100 millionth car built in the U.S.? A: March 16, 1966 saw an Olds Tornado roll out of Lansing, Michigan with that honor. Q: Where was the first drive-in movie theater opened, and when? A: Camden, NJ in 1933 Q: What autos were the first to use a standardized production key-start system? A: The 1949 Chryslers Q: What did the Olds designation 4-4-2 stand for? A: 4 barrel carburetor, 4 speed transmission, and dual exhaust. Q: What car was the first to place the horn button in the center of the steering wheel? A: The 1915 Scripps-Booth Model C. The car also was the first with electric door latches. Q: What U.S. production car has the quickest 0-60 mph time? A: The 1962 Chevrolet Impala SS 409. Did it in 4.0 seconds. Q: What's the only car to appear simultaneously on the covers of Time and Newsweek? A: The Mustang Q: What was the lowest priced mass produced American car? A: The 1925 Ford Model T Runabout. Cost $260, $5 less than 1924. Q: What is the fastest internal-combustion American production car? A: The 1998 Dodge Viper GETS-R, tested by Motor Trend magazine at 192.6 mph. Q: What automaker's first logo incorporated the Star of David? A: The Dodge Brothers. Q: Who wrote to Henry Ford, "I have drove fords exclusively when I could get away with one. It has got every other car skinned, and even if my business hasn't been strictly legal it don't hurt anything to tell you what a fine car you got in the V-8"? A: Clyde Barrow (of Bonnie and Clyde) in 1934. Q: What car was the first production V12, as well as the first production car with aluminum pistons? A: The 1915 Packard Twin-Six. Used during WWI in Italy, these motors inspired Enzi Ferrari to adopt the V12 himself in 1948. Q: What was the first car to use power operated seats? A: They were first used on the 1947 Packard line. Q: Which of the Chrysler "letter cars" sold the fewest amount? A: Only 400, 1963, 300J's were sold (they skipped" "I" because it looked like a number 1) Q: What car company was originally known as Swallow Sidecars (aka SS)? A: Jaguar, which was an SS model first in 1935, and ultimately the whole company by 1945. Q: What car delivered the first production V12 engine? A: The cylinder wars were kicked off in 1915 after Packard's chief engineer, Col. Jesse Vincent, introduced its Twin-Sis. Q: When were seat belts first fitted to a motor vehicle? A: In 1902, in a Baker Electric streamliner racer which crashed at 100 mph. on Staten Island! Q: In January 1930, Cadillac debuted it's V16 in a car named for a theatrical version of a 1920's film seen by Harley Earl while designing the body, What's that name? A: The "Madam X", a custom coach designed by Earl and built by Fleetwood. The sedan featured a retractable landau top above the rear seat. Q: Which car company started out German, yet became French after WWI? A: Bugati, founded in Molsheim in 1909, became French when Alsace returned to French rule. Q: In what model year did Cadillac introduce the first electric sunroof? A: 1969 Q: What U.S. production car had the largest 4 cylinder engine? A: The 1907 Thomas sported a 571 cu. in. (9.2liter) engine. Q: What car was reportedly designed on the back of a Northwest Airlines airsickness bag and released on April Fool's Day, 1970? A: 1970 Gremlin, (AMC) Q: What is the Spirit of Ecstasy? A: The official name of the mascot of Rolls Royce, she is the lady on top of their radiators. Q: What was the inspiration for MG's famed octagon-shaped badge? A: The shape of founder Cecil Kimber's dining table. MG stands for Morris Garages. Q: In what year did the "double-R" Rolls Royce badge change from red to black? A: 1933

 

 
 

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