Fw: New Christmas Card

Twas the month before Christmas. 
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.
Why the PC Police had taken away
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say December 25th is just a 'Holiday'.
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-Pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.
As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe's the word Christmas was nowhere to be found. At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears
You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.
  Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty a re words used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry & Clinton!
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
forbidden to speak of salvation and grace
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree' Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout 'MERRY CHRISTMAS' not Happy Holiday!
All Christians should join together and wish everyone you meet a 'MERRY CHRISTMAS' & remember that  
Christ is The Reason for the Christ-mas Season!


Fw: Bible Study-"Left and Right"

Bible Study

    "Left" and "Right": A little Bible study.  Remember what Jesus said: 'Goats on the left, sheep on the right' (Matthew 25:33).  

    Jesus told Peter that if he wanted to catch fish do it from the right side of the boat. They did and filled the boat.

    John 21:6 (NIV) He said, "Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some." When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish."

    Origin of Left & Right... I have often wondered why it is that Conservatives are called the "right" and Liberals are called the "left".
    By chance I stumbled upon this verse in the Bible: Ecclesiastes 10:2 (NIV) - "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." Thus sayeth the Lord. Amen. Can't get any simpler than that.

    Spelling Lesson :
    The last four letters in American..........I Can
    The last four letters in Republican........I Can
    The last four letters in Democrats.........Rats

    End of lesson. Test to follow on November 6, 2014
    .  Remember, November 2014 is to be set aside as rodent removal month.


Fw: Steve Jobs ( very clever)

    Be sure to see the last one.  All are good.

      Subject: Steve Jobs ( very clever)

      18 years ago the USA had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ......
      Now they have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.


Fwd: Obama Flowers metaphor

Obama Flowers

  Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Trina. How can I help you?

:  Hello.  I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.

:  Yes!  I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.

:  Thanks, I ordered a "Spring Bouquet" for our anniversary, and wanted it  delivered to my wife.

:  Interrupting, Sir, "Spring Bouquets" do not meet our  minimum standards, I will  be happy to provide you with Red Roses.

:  But I have always ordered "Spring Bouquets", done it  for years, my wife likes them.

  Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.

: Well, how much are  they?

 It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.

 What's the difference?

 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.

 The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?

 It depends sir, what is your monthly income?

 What does that have to do with anything?

 I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.


 Yes, Flowers are a right.  Everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can't afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge to you at taxpayer expense.

 Who said they were a right?

 Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it constitutional.

 Whoa!  I don't remember seeing anything in the Constitution regardingflowers as a right.

  It is not really a "Right in  the Constitution," but ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court  Ruled it a "Tax". Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a right.

 I don't believe this.

 It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income sir?

 Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.

 In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.


 To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would be.

 WHAT?  You can't charge me for NOT buying flowers!

 It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.

Customer interrupting:
 This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $9.50.

 Sir, it is $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.

 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip-off!

 Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.

 Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going  to pay it.

 Sorry to hear that sir.  That's why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.

 Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?

 So they get your GPS coordinates sir.

Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door

 That would be the IRS sir.  Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers.  Have a nice day and God Bless America