Fw: New Species Discovered

New Species Discovered 

They are referred to as "homo slackass-erectus" created by natural genetic downward evolution through constant spineless posturing, and spasmatic upper limb gestures, which new research has shown to cause shorter legs and an inability to ambulate other than in an awkward shuffling gait. The "drag-crotch" shape also seems to effect brain function. Expect no eye contact or intelligent verbal communication. History shows that this species mostly receives food stamps and full government care. Unfortunately, most are highly fertile.


    Fw: 7 Thoughts to Ponder



    Number 7

    Life is sexually transmitted.

    Number 6

    Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    Number 5

    Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

    Number 4

    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
    the hospitals, dying of nothing.

    Number 3

    All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    Number 2

    In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    And The Number 1 Thought

    Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers-- What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow

    ... and as someone recently said to me:

    "Don't worry about old age-- It doesn't last that long."