Fw: Jesus - what was he?

There were three good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1.     He called everyone brother;
2.     He liked Gospel;
3.     He didn't get a fair trial.
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1.     He went into His Father's business;
2.     He lived at home until he was 33;
3.     He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1.     He talked with His hands;
2.     He had wine with His meals;
3.     He used olive oil.
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1.     He never cut His hair;
2.     He walked around barefoot all the time;
3.     He started a new religion.
 
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1.     He was at peace with nature;
2.     He ate a lot of fish;
3.     He talked about the Great Spirit.
 
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1.     He never got married;
2.     He was always telling stories;
3.     He loved green pastures.
 
But the most compelling evidence of all - three proofs that Jesus was a  woman:
1.     He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food;
2.     He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it;
3.     And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.
 

---

 
Can I get an AMEN?!?!

Fw: WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM

In 1923, Who Was: 

1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company? 
3. President of the New York stock Exchange? 
4. Greatest wheat speculator? 
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement? 
6. The Great Bear of Wall Street? 



These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their days..

Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us, if we know what ultimately became of them..

The Answers:


1. The president of the largest steel company.
Charles Schwab,

died a pauper. 


2. The president of the largest gas company,
Edward Hopson,

went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE,
Richard Whitney,

was released from prison 
to die at home.

4. The greatest wheat speculator,
Arthur Cooger,

died abroad, penniless. 

5. The president of
the Bank of International Settlement,

shot himself. 

6 The Great Bear of Wall Street,
Cosabee Livermore,

also committed suicide



However!!! 
in that same year, 
1923, 
the PGA Champion
and the winner of the most important 
golf tournament,
the US Open, 
was

Gene Sarazen.

What became of him?


He played golf until he was 92,
died in 1999 at the age of 95.
He was financially secure
at the time of his death.

The Moral:


Screw work. 
Play golf.

Fw: What are good friends for!!

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife screams at him as his friend listens in. "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! What the hell did you bring him home for?" "Because he's thinking of getting married...."

Fw: Californian to Texan Translation Guide

 

Fw: Above and Beyond ...

The National Veteran's Art Museum in Chicago has an unusual work of art, which most people don't know exists! When visitors first enter the museum, they will hear a sound like wind chimes coming from above them and their attention will be drawn upward 24 feet to the ceiling of the two-story high atrium. Dog tags of the more than 58,000 service men and women who died in the Vietnam War hang from the ceiling. The 10-by-40-foot sculpture, entitled Above & Beyond, was designed by Ned Broderick and Richard Stein. The tens of thousands of metal dog tags are suspended 24 feet in the air, 1 inch apart, from fine lines that allow them to move and chime with shifting air currents. Museum employees using a kiosk and laser pointer help visitors locate the exact dog tag with the imprinted name of their lost friend or relative. "If you can read this, thank a teacher... If you are reading it in English, thank a vet."

Fw: GREAT GOLF STORY

Golf Story - Heartwarming    Let's hope this happens to all of us! 98 and no enemies - human interest story.   All golfers should live so long as to be this kind of old man! Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad. "Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," he replied gruffly. "Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands. "Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?" The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the sons of bitches."

 

Fw: (No subject)

This farmer had a wife who nagged him all the time. One day while he was outside plowing the field, she came out and started nagging him. While she was doing this, the mule kicked her and she died. At the funeral, the ladies came up and talked to the farmer. The farmer nodded his head "yes". The men came up and talked to him and the farmer nodded his head "no". Well this other man wondered why he nodded his head "yes" to the ladies and "no" to the men. Then, he went up to the farmer and asked him why. The farmer replied," Well, when the ladies came up, they told me how pretty my wife's dress was and how pretty she looked. When the men came up, they asked,' That mule for sale?'