Fwd: Pretty while having fun

Sent from probably the coolest phone on the planet!!!!!

!!!!!!

What Aisle is the Polish Sausage in?

What Aisle is the Polish Sausage in?
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'prejudice' these days................

A customer asked, "In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?"

The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"

The guy , clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something.

If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?

Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"

The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?"

The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot."

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Fwd: How to start each day with a positive attitude....

Hey this really works!!!       (This struck me funny.)     HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK 1. Open a new file in your computer 2. Name it 'Barack Obama'. 3. Send it to the Recycle Bin. 4. Empty the Recycle Bin. 5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?' 6. Click 'YES.' 7. Feel better?   GOOD - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi

 

FW: SALESMAN......

A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says,"Yeah. I was a salesman back in North Dakota .." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today? The kid says, "One". The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says, "$101,237.65". The boss says, "$101,237.65?" What the heck did you sell?" The kid says,"First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?" The kid said, "No the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot - you should go fishing'."

 

Public Service Message

Hi all!

I don’t generally do this but I thought this was an important message to pass on.  I know some of you are pet owners and I know that some of you are considering becoming a pet owner.  I also know this message has been publicized in the past but probably without the cold, hard evidence as noted in this picture. 

Please spay or neuter your pets!  This is a tragic example of an in-bread dog!  I am sure it will serve to reinforce this matter to each person who views it.

Fwd: We Need Your Help

-----Original Message-----
From: "Babe Ruth Headquarters" <presidentsnewsletter@baberuthleague.org>
Subj: We Need Your Help
Date: Tue Sep 13, 2011 6:42 pm
Size: 19K
To: viki@dalbofamily.com


TO:
Babe Ruth League Membership FROM:
Steven M. Tellefsen, President/CEO

DATE:
September 12, 2011

RE: We Need Your Help As we have said many times, when you are part of Babe Ruth League, Inc., youre considered family. The program goes well beyond the field of play. As many of you are aware, Hurricane Irene recently ravaged the east coast with high winds, power outages and extensive flooding. Many, many Babe Ruth league programs experienced devastating loss from this horrific storm.
Imagine the impact of losing your fields and your equipment to a natural disaster. How would your communitys youth fill the time they would have spent on the field? These leagues need assistance to get back on their feet and restore the simple pleasure of baseball and softball in their communities.
Our partner, Pitch In For Baseball (PIFB) is currently working with many of our leagues via sizeable donations of helmets, bats, uniforms and other equipment. PIFB is a nonprofit youth baseball and softball charity that collects and delivers new and gently used baseball and softball equipment to communities in need, both nationally and internationally.

PIFB is doing a great job, but they need your assistance.. Therefore, I am reaching out to our entire membership to step up to the plate and support Pitch In For Baseball.
How can you help? The gloves, bats and other baseball equipment that's sitting in your closet or garage right now can open a whole world of opportunities for the youth affected by Hurricane Irene. Pitch in your used equipment or donate money to give the gift of baseball to a deserving child.
PIFB is accepting donations of new or gently-used:
Fielding gloves
Youth bats
Catcher's mitts and protective gear
Batting helmets
Baseballs and softballs
Soft cover balls for Tee Ball
Rubber baseball cleats
Youth uniform pants (sets of 12, or more, if not white or gray)
Youth uniform shirts and hats (sets of 12, or more)
Umpire protective gear
Team equipment bags
Sets of bases
Batting tees
Pitching machines
If you can, please make a donation, or if your community could benefit, please contact PIFB.
Shipping Info
Pitch In For Baseball
1541 Gehman Road
Harleysville, PA 19438
Office Telephone: 267-263-4069
Fax: (267) 263-4086
Financial donations help PIFB store and ship baseball and softball equipment as well as purchase new equipment.
Donations of the following amounts provide the kids with these specific benefits:
$15 purchase a new glove for 1 child
$30 purchase a new catchers mitt
$60 purchase a new set of catchers gear
$80 purchase new baseballs for a teams season
$180 purchase new gloves for 1 team
$275 shipping costs for 1 league

Online donations are securely processed by ActiveGiving.com, the leader in online charitable donation management. Simply click to PITCH IN ONLINE. You can also make donations by check. Please make checks payable to: Pitch In For Baseball and send to:
Pitch In For Baseball
Donations
1541 Gehman Road
Harleysville, PA 19438
We encourage you to visit www.pitchinforbaseball.org to learn more about their charitable efforts. We also encourage you to contact PIFBs Executive Director, David Rhode, if you have any questions on any aspect of the program. David can be reached at 267-263-4069 or at drhode@pitchinforbaseball.org.
We at home plate believe that the Babe Ruth volunteers can make miracles happen. Personal disasters serve to remind us that we have hands for helping and that indeed the Babe Ruth program is filled with helping hands. Remember, it is the caring actions of the Babe Ruth family helping others that make our program strong. Any assistance you can provide at this time is greatly appreciated.
SMT/tc


P.O. Box 5000
Trenton, NJ 08638
United States




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