Fw: Jesus - what was he?

There were three good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1.     He called everyone brother;
2.     He liked Gospel;
3.     He didn't get a fair trial.
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1.     He went into His Father's business;
2.     He lived at home until he was 33;
3.     He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1.     He talked with His hands;
2.     He had wine with His meals;
3.     He used olive oil.
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1.     He never cut His hair;
2.     He walked around barefoot all the time;
3.     He started a new religion.
 
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1.     He was at peace with nature;
2.     He ate a lot of fish;
3.     He talked about the Great Spirit.
 
But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1.     He never got married;
2.     He was always telling stories;
3.     He loved green pastures.
 
But the most compelling evidence of all - three proofs that Jesus was a  woman:
1.     He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food;
2.     He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it;
3.     And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.
 

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Can I get an AMEN?!?!

Fw: WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM

In 1923, Who Was: 

1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company? 
3. President of the New York stock Exchange? 
4. Greatest wheat speculator? 
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement? 
6. The Great Bear of Wall Street? 



These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their days..

Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us, if we know what ultimately became of them..

The Answers:


1. The president of the largest steel company.
Charles Schwab,

died a pauper. 


2. The president of the largest gas company,
Edward Hopson,

went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE,
Richard Whitney,

was released from prison 
to die at home.

4. The greatest wheat speculator,
Arthur Cooger,

died abroad, penniless. 

5. The president of
the Bank of International Settlement,

shot himself. 

6 The Great Bear of Wall Street,
Cosabee Livermore,

also committed suicide



However!!! 
in that same year, 
1923, 
the PGA Champion
and the winner of the most important 
golf tournament,
the US Open, 
was

Gene Sarazen.

What became of him?


He played golf until he was 92,
died in 1999 at the age of 95.
He was financially secure
at the time of his death.

The Moral:


Screw work. 
Play golf.

Fw: What are good friends for!!

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife screams at him as his friend listens in. "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! What the hell did you bring him home for?" "Because he's thinking of getting married...."

Fw: Californian to Texan Translation Guide